Liberals have always been hypocrites. But John Edwards is the poster boy for all-time! He creates a crystal-clear picture that only a complete idiot could miss. So actually Conservatives and Libertarians across the country owe a debt of gratitude to John. THANK YOU JOHN EDWARDS.
Let me count the ways that liberal John the lawyer is a hypocrite.
First, he lectures around the country on the subject of poverty. John considers himself a “poverty crusader.” A warrior in the battle to protect and defend the poor. Yet it turns out that when John lectures on this topic he charges $50,000 a speech. But wait, that $50,000 was the charge to a college. Can you imagine what he charges corporations? Yes, if young broke college kids want to hear our hero John speak about poverty for an hour- they have to pony up $50,000. Well that’s heroic, don’t you think? John redefines Robin Hood. He steals $50,000 from broke college kids in order to talk about poverty! But he’s the one creating the poverty. After John Edwards speaks to your college or organization about poverty, it’s good that everyone in the audience has a deep new understanding of poverty- because they’re now experiencing it! By the way, when you watch John define poverty, you get the pleasure of watching a “poverty expert” with a $400 haircut. Wow, John also redefines chutzpah.
Secondly, while John lectures on the amazing and “unfair” tax breaks afforded to the rich- including offshore hedge funds and banks- it turns out that he was paid $500,000 last year by…if you guess this one, you qualify for the million dollar prize giveaway…an offshore hedge fund! Yes, I said an offshore hedge fund. John says he merely wanted to understand how offshore banks worked. Which would actually be a plausible excuse (well at least it would qualify as an acceptable coverup), if he hadn’t been paid $500,000 for his foreign study course. So why accept the $500,000? Well, I guess someone has to pay the bills on John’s 20,000 square foot North Carolina mansion. Just the electric bill has to be $500,000 for a man that I’m certain will soon claim to be a “global warming crusader” too. John has brought chutzpah to a whole new level never experienced before.
Third, we bring you the latest and greatest episode of “Adventures in Being John the Hypocrite.” You see John has criticized his fellow Democrats for either taking money from Rupert Murdoch (specifically a $30,000 donation to Hillary Clinton) or even appearing on Fox News Channel. He feels Murdoch and Fox are biased against liberals. But it turns out that John took a $800,000 check in the form of a book advance from…guess who? Rupert Murdoch and his News Corp (parent company of book publisher Harper Collins). That doesn’t seem to bother John. Not only does John refuse to give back that money, he claims to have donated it to charity- although he has produced no receipts. This just keeps getting better.
By the way, John also says that Democrat Presidential candidates should refuse to accept contributions from lobbyists. That smacks of “special interests” to John. But John has financed almost his entire Presidential campasigns of 2004 and 2008 on contributions from lawyers and the ABA (American Bar Association). Without trial and Personal Injury lawyers, John wouldn’t have two nickels to rub together. So according to John the Hypocrite, lobbyists are bad…but lawyers and bar associations are good? Wow, this is really getting funny. Jay Leno couldn’t come up with better material.
Here’s a question I have for John Edwards: just a wild guess, but being that John fights for “fairness” with every waking breath, and he obviously- as a liberal crusader- is a big fan of higher spending on public education, does John send his two young kids to public school? I’d bet a cool million that the answer is a resounding, hypocritical “NO!” The Robin Hood of our day, the $400 per haircut, $50,000 per speech, $500,000 per year offshore hedge fund consultant, who hates lobbyists and loves public school educators sends his kids to the fanciest private schools that money can buy in North Carolina. Wanna bet? Does the hypocrisy ever end? But I must confess, I love John the Hypocrite. He has summed up in a short few months what being a liberal is all about. John Edwards is a gift from heaven. John the Hypocrite, we love you.
Wayne Allyn Root is a Libertarian candidate for President of the United States.
