“If I Was the Devil”

By Wayne Root
Credit: Vpermencom / Pixabay

Paul Harvey first wrote a commentary with this same title in 1965.

I think it is clearly time for me to update it for 2020.

I’m a God-fearing and God-loving AMERICAN patriot.

I am a Jew who took Jesus Christ as my savior almost 30 years ago.

Today, I feel the devil all around us, like never before in my lifetime…

In any lifetime.

This Coronavirus crisis has the devil’s evil fingerprints all over it.

Not certain I’m right?

If I was the devil, if evil was my middle name, I’d love the Deep State, the corrupt D.C. swamp and most of all, their PR division, the liberal media.

I’d love big government.

I’d love globalists.

I’d love communists, socialists and Marxists- anyone who would put the AMERICAN people in misery and slavery.

I’d dedicate my life to anything and anyone who’d destroy the AMERICAN dream, opportunity and mobility. Because of course, the devil loves misery.

I’d want to enslave the AMERICAN people, ruin their exceptionalism, make them ordinary citizens of a global army of serfs.

I’d want to turn the lives of confident and prosperous Americans, and especially American business owners, into misery and malaise.

I’d want America to be no different than Cuba, or Haiti, or Venezuela, or El Salvador, or any starving country in Africa, or any miserable country anywhere on this globe. Why should America escape my misery and pain?

I’d give my support to anyone who’d take the AMERICAN Dream away.

I’d hate President DONALD J TRUMP. 

I’d hate anyone who wants to make America great again.

I’d hate AMERICAN patriots and military veterans and capitalists.

I’d hate first responders. I’d hate anyone who is courageous and does good.

I’d hate business owners who think they are special, who believe in freedom, who think their work ethic and sacrifice have earned them success and prosperity. I’d want to wipe that smirk right off their faces. Id want them to suffer.

To accomplish all this…

I’d want to create a pandemic just like Coronavirus.

It would magically save China’s collapsing economy and prop up their evil communist party.

It would wipe away all of Trump’s magical and miraculous economic achievements of the past 3+ years…in a shocking, depressing, tragic month.

It would crash the stock market; collapse the oil and energy markets; kill tens of millions of jobs; close the entire US economy; shutter millions of small businesses…

Make virtually every American an instant welfare addict and ward of the state; eliminate Trump’s 20,000-person stadium rallies; overwhelm the entire economic system; bring business owners to their knees; reward the Deep State and D.C. Swamp… 

Make big government the only option to save a drowning nation, no longer so exceptional… 

Make Americans feel powerless and literally turn them into sheep- willing to hide in their homes, accept government telling them if their businesses are “essential” or not; deciding if they can earn a living or not; gain access to a potentially life-saving, anti-malaria drug protocol, or not…

Allow politicians to shred the US Constitution; and increase the surveillance state to levels never before imagined.

Levels like evil communist empires (just like China). 

I’d root for a massive overreaction that leaves America shocked, depressed and weakened; and the government’s reaction would be to spend so much money, it would leave America crippled by unimaginable debt for the rest of all time. 

And I’d laugh and do a dance to celebrate all the rich and powerful business owners left with nothing, reduced to begging big government to save them.

And you know I hate Christianity more than even America.

I’d create something so vile and frightening, it would close down churches and prevent Easter church services for the first time in the history of America. 

And as a bonus, I’d watch government arrest pastors who try to hold church services in defiance of draconian new government rules to stay home. I’d laugh as the “right of assembly” is shredded before our eyes.

And I’d laugh as Americans were so scared and cowering in their homes…they stood by and said nothing.

I’d want a humbled, shocked, weakened, crippled America at the mercy of all of her enemies- China, Russia, Iran, North Korea, Islamic terrorists and Muslim nations angry at our lifelong best friendship with God’s chosen people in Israel.

And as a bonus, I’d want everyone in America not only broke and humbled, but also miserable…

So, I’d eliminate all sports, close down movie theaters, shut down Las Vegas, air travel, cruise ships, cancel all vacations and weddings. There would be no way out- except misery, depression and loneliness.

Sex? All dating is canceled. No one can come within 6 feet. 

A nation of fun, wild, colorful outgoing people with bigger than life personalities is now trapped in homes- lonely, bored, scared. Suicides will soar. Drug addiction and alcoholism will soar. Depression will soar.

If I was the Devil, I’d be dancing in hell.

Folks, do you understand now?

We’ve just all met the devil. Coronavirus was his greatest creation yet. 

His latest evil creation makes 9-11, and Pearl Harbor, and the 1929 stock crash, and the Great Depression, and the polio epidemic, and the Civil War, and even WWII pale by comparison.

Make no mistake about it. We are under massive attack. This pandemic has the devil’s fingerprints all over it. It’s invisible just like the devil himself.

Our country is in shambles. We are all lying on the canvas. Our faith in God is being tested like never before. Some of us are broken.

These are the moments that break even exceptional people.

But we are America. We are relentless. We are blessed by God. We are backed by God. And yes, we are exceptional.

We still have faith in America and capitalism. We know God is still by our side. We still have faith in our G.O.A.T. (Greatest of All Time) President Donald J Trump. 

In Trump we trust. In America we trust. In God we trust.

You will never, never, never, ever defeat America. You win round one. But we know God is in control of this 16-round championship fight. And America will never yield. America will never break. No matter what you throw at us. Screw the devil.

We will fight you to the death. We will fight you from sea to shining sea. We will fight you in New York and Miami and Dallas. We will fight you in Hollywood and Beverly Hills and Vegas and Peoria and Omaha and Washington DC.

We will fight you in the streets, and in the mountains, and in the desert, and on the Vegas Strip, and on the beaches, and at sea.

You cannot beat us. You cannot break us. You can never win. We are America, the greatest nation in world history, ever blessed by God. 

You wanted war. You’ve got it! Let’s roll.

God bless America. 

Oh and Mr. Devil, one more thing…

KISS OUR ASS.

“If I Was the Devil”

By Wayne Root
Credit: Vpermencom / Pixabay

Paul Harvey first wrote a commentary with this same title in 1965.

I think it is clearly time for me to update it for 2020.

I’m a God-fearing and God-loving AMERICAN patriot.

I am a Jew who took Jesus Christ as my savior almost 30 years ago.

Today, I feel the devil all around us, like never before in my lifetime…

In any lifetime.

This Coronavirus crisis has the devil’s evil fingerprints all over it.

Not certain I’m right?

If I was the devil, if evil was my middle name, I’d love the Deep State, the corrupt D.C. swamp and most of all, their PR division, the liberal media.

I’d love big government.

I’d love globalists.

I’d love communists, socialists and Marxists- anyone who would put the AMERICAN people in misery and slavery.

I’d dedicate my life to anything and anyone who’d destroy the AMERICAN dream, opportunity and mobility. Because of course, the devil loves misery.

I’d want to enslave the AMERICAN people, ruin their exceptionalism, make them ordinary citizens of a global army of serfs.

I’d want to turn the lives of confident and prosperous Americans, and especially American business owners, into misery and malaise.

I’d want America to be no different than Cuba, or Haiti, or Venezuela, or El Salvador, or any starving country in Africa, or any miserable country anywhere on this globe. Why should America escape my misery and pain?

I’d give my support to anyone who’d take the AMERICAN Dream away.

I’d hate President DONALD J TRUMP.

I’d hate anyone who wants to make America great again.

I’d hate AMERICAN patriots and military veterans and capitalists.

I’d hate first responders. I’d hate anyone who is courageous and does good.

I’d hate business owners who think they are special, who believe in freedom, who think their work ethic and sacrifice have earned them success and prosperity. I’d want to wipe that smirk right off their faces. Id want them to suffer.

To accomplish all this…

I’d want to create a pandemic just like Coronavirus.

It would magically save China’s collapsing economy and prop up their evil communist party.

It would wipe away all of Trump’s magical and miraculous economic achievements of the past 3+ years…in a shocking, depressing, tragic month.

It would crash the stock market; collapse the oil and energy markets; kill tens of millions of jobs; close the entire US economy; shutter millions of small businesses…

Make virtually every American an instant welfare addict and ward of the state; eliminate Trump’s 20,000-person stadium rallies; overwhelm the entire economic system; bring business owners to their knees; reward the Deep State and D.C. Swamp…

Make big government the only option to save a drowning nation, no longer so exceptional…

Make Americans feel powerless and literally turn them into sheep- willing to hide in their homes, accept government telling them if their businesses are “essential” or not; deciding if they can earn a living or not; gain access to a potentially life-saving, anti-malaria drug protocol, or not…

Allow politicians to shred the US Constitution; and increase the surveillance state to levels never before imagined.

Levels like evil communist empires (just like China).

I’d root for a massive overreaction that leaves America shocked, depressed and weakened; and the government’s reaction would be to spend so much money, it would leave America crippled by unimaginable debt for the rest of all time.

And I’d laugh and do a dance to celebrate all the rich and powerful business owners left with nothing, reduced to begging big government to save them.

And you know I hate Christianity more than even America.

I’d create something so vile and frightening, it would close down churches and prevent Easter church services for the first time in the history of America.

And as a bonus, I’d watch government arrest pastors who try to hold church services in defiance of draconian new government rules to stay home. I’d laugh as the “right of assembly” is shredded before our eyes.

And I’d laugh as Americans were so scared and cowering in their homes…they stood by and said nothing.

I’d want a humbled, shocked, weakened, crippled America at the mercy of all of her enemies- China, Russia, Iran, North Korea, Islamic terrorists and Muslim nations angry at our lifelong best friendship with God’s chosen people in Israel.

And as a bonus, I’d want everyone in America not only broke and humbled, but also miserable…

So, I’d eliminate all sports, close down movie theaters, shut down Las Vegas, air travel, cruise ships, cancel all vacations and weddings. There would be no way out- except misery, depression and loneliness.

Sex? All dating is canceled. No one can come within 6 feet.

A nation of fun, wild, colorful outgoing people with bigger than life personalities is now trapped in homes- lonely, bored, scared. Suicides will soar. Drug addiction and alcoholism will soar. Depression will soar.

If I was the Devil, I’d be dancing in hell.

Folks, do you understand now?

We’ve just all met the devil. Coronavirus was his greatest creation yet.

His latest evil creation makes 9-11, and Pearl Harbor, and the 1929 stock crash, and the Great Depression, and the polio epidemic, and the Civil War, and even WWII pale by comparison.

Make no mistake about it. We are under massive attack. This pandemic has the devil’s fingerprints all over it. It’s invisible just like the devil himself.

Our country is in shambles. We are all lying on the canvas. Our faith in God is being tested like never before. Some of us are broken.

These are the moments that break even exceptional people.

But we are America. We are relentless. We are blessed by God. We are backed by God. And yes, we are exceptional.

We still have faith in America and capitalism. We know God is still by our side. We still have faith in our G.O.A.T. (Greatest of All Time) President Donald J Trump.

In Trump we trust. In America we trust. In God we trust.

You will never, never, never, ever defeat America. You win round one. But we know God is in control of this 16-round championship fight. And America will never yield. America will never break. No matter what you throw at us. Screw the devil.

We will fight you to the death. We will fight you from sea to shining sea. We will fight you in New York and Miami and Dallas. We will fight you in Hollywood and Beverly Hills and Vegas and Peoria and Omaha and Washington DC.

We will fight you in the streets, and in the mountains, and in the desert, and on the Vegas Strip, and on the beaches, and at sea.

You cannot beat us. You cannot break us. You can never win. We are America, the greatest nation in world history, ever blessed by God.

You wanted war. You’ve got it! Let’s roll.

God bless America.

Oh and Mr. Devil, one more thing…

KISS OUR ASS.