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Oscar Predictions from a Las Vegas Oddsmaker-Turned-Vice Presidential Nominee

By February 19, 2009No Comments
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I spent 13 years living amongst the Hollywood hypocrite crowd in Malibu, California. You know the type- the men talk day and night about feminism, women's rights and respecting women, but they spend their afternoons hanging out at strip clubs and cheating on their wives with young bimbos.

They talk nonstop about equality and racism, while they send their kids to 100% white private schools
that cost $30,000 per year (plus donations) for kindergarten slots. Incidentally, they choose where to live the exact same way- they talk day and night about diversity, but the only person of color ever seen in their neighborhood is Quincy Jones or Whoopi Goldberg.

They publicly invite homeless people to come to their home in Malibu, but their home is behind gates with alarms, video cameras, guard dogs and five bodyguards patrolling the property (see Martin Sheen).

They demand higher taxes in the name of “fairness,” but they hire the best tax lawyers and accountants to avoid those higher taxes (or don't bother to pay any taxes- see Wesley Snipes).

And while they act shocked and offended over CEO's having the audacity to earn $5 million per year, these same limousine liberals earn $25 million per picture, and expect $10,000 in free swag to come their way on Oscar Night.

They protest on behalf of unions, the homeless, and illegal immigrants, while they spend $4000 per hour on escorts. They talk to the press about their wonderful family they couldn't live without, while they've been divorced 6 times and their kids are raised by nannies, maids, butlers and chauffeurs.

They cry over global warming and brag incessantly about their politically-correct electric cars, but fly private jets and ride in limos to accept their awards- using up more gas in one trip than the rest of us spend in an entire year (see Al Gore).

They play soldiers on film and act like tough-guy Marines in their media interviews, when in reality they cry like little girls if their $10,000 per night hotel suite doesn't come with hot and cold running Perrier in the Jacuzzi. These people should win awards on Oscar Night for gall and hypocrisy.

In case you've never spent time with the Hollywood crowd, let me educate you- they are such fakes, frauds, hypocrites and spoiled brats, they would make you want to vomit if you spent 5 minutes around them. They are the biggest bunch of dysfunctional headcases, neurotic flakes, and pathetic souls you've ever seen in your life.

But after spending 13 years putting up with their pathetic whining and nauseating political correctness, I know these people like the back of my hand. I can tell you how they think…how they vote (always for the most revoltingly liberal candidate)…and how they vote for the Oscars. EVERYTHING – and I mean everything- they say, think and do is colored by their bleeding-heart socialist political views. So with all that in mind, here are my 2009 Oscar predictions. Liberals are so predictable:

Best Picture. Easy Pick- Slumdog Millionaire. The bleeding heart liberal crowd loves any movie that showcases the pain of poverty. It gives them a reason to drone on for hours (or days) about the unfairness of inequality. Then they feel absolved of guilt when they get back in their limos, head to the airport to board their private jets, and fly to their Italian mansions on Lake Cuomo (see George Clooney) with their young starlet girlfriends. Afterall, poverty is something experienced only by “the little people.” If not Slumdog, the best picture award will go to Milk- another liberal fan favorite.

Best Actor. Easy Pick- Sean Penn of Milk. Afterall he's a straight macho guy playing a gay politician. In Hollywood anyone straight who plays a gay role gets an automatic Oscar- ask Tom Hanks, William Hurt and Charlize Theron. Besides, Penn scores brownie points with the limousine liberal crowd for being a pathetically, radically bleeding-heart liberal in real life.

Best Supporting Actor. Beyond an Easy Pick, this one is a "sure thing"- Heath Ledger is the 1000 to 1 favorite. I'd bet a million dollars on this one. Afterall, Heath died from overdosing on pills- the cause of death being classified as “abuse of prescription medication” by the medical examiners office. That's so “chic” in Hollywood circles. James Dean, Marilyn Monroe, Elvis, JFK- if you're young and beautiful and die before your time in a mysterious way- you are automatically coronated in Hollywood. Ledger died as your typical sensitive artist in mental anguish.

It was all too much for Sir Heath- the tens of millions of dollars per film; the bi-Continental life in L.A., Soho, and Sydney; the gorgeous wife and daughter; and of course the cast of thousands of gorgeous models and groupies who'd sleep with him at the snap of a finger. How on earth can anyone live with that kind of burden? Oscar voters understand only too well. Giving Heath an Oscar will absolve everyone in Hollywood of their overwhelming guilt for cheating on their wives, taking drugs, and making lots of money for acting in incredibly vapid and meaningless films. They'll celebrate Ledger, cheer, cry, drink champagne and snort cocaine all night to show solidarity, then sleep until 2 PM and give themselves a day off from seeing their shrinks.

Best Actress. This one is tough but Kate Winslet will win it. Hollywood loves her. She is 0 for 5 in Oscars (remember, liberals feel bad for losers and want to punish successful people). And most importantly, her boss is Harvey Weinstein. Harvey is the king of Hollywood bleeding-heart liberals. Whatever Harvey wants, Harvey gets.

Best Supporting Actress. The winner is Penelope Cruz. She hsas all the liberal stereotypes going for her- Penelope is Hispanic. She has starred in movies glorifying drugs and drug dealers (Blow). She used to date Tom Cruise. And it's rumored she is a Scientologist. Add it up- she has the perfect Hollywood resume- give this gal an Oscar!

Those are my predictions. Enjoy the Oscars and watch the pathetic liberal psychosis of Hollywood on display when the winners are announced. Best Wishes!
Wayne Allyn Root

Wayne Allyn Root was the 2008 Libertarian Vice Presidential candidate. His new book will be released by John Wiley & Sons this Spring entitled, “The Conscience of a Libertarian: Empowering the Citizen Revolution with God, Guns, Gambling & Tax Cuts.” The book is available for pre-sale at Wayne also happens to be Barack Obama's college classmate (Columbia University Class of '83). For more of Wayne's views, commentaries, or to watch his many media interviews, please visit his web site at: