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TSA: “The Three Worst Letters in the English Language”

By November 22, 2010No Comments
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Privatize and Profile: Two Simple Solutions to Solve the TSA National Security Mess.

Usually creeps go to prison for feeling up women and young children. It’s called “sexual assault” or “child molestation.” But now our own government calls it legal if done by TSA agents in the name of “national security.”

Just more proof that virtually everything government does, they fail at miserably. Make no mistake about it, the TSA is Exhibit A for how to muck up both national security and the privacy and civil liberties of American citizens. TSA can’t stop suicide bombers, or underwear bombers, or shoe bombers…but these "brave heroes" of government sure are great at feeling up grandma and grandpa. Not to mention how talented they are at traumatizing little children, radiating pilots, roughly molesting fliers with hip or knee implants, and embarrassing cancer survivors with breast implants, or the infirm with colostomy bags. Ding, ding, ding- we have a winner! Give the award for “Awkward, Strange, Creepy, Bumbling Idiots and Perverted Order-Takers of the Year” to our TSA.

There is a citizen revolution smoldering in the hinterlands. Americans don’t want overpaid government goons and perverts, with far too much authority, touching their junk….or grandma’s junk…or our children’s private parts. Something has got to give — unless our government wants mass chaos, massive citizen protests, civil disobedience, more economic carnage, higher unemployment, and the bankruptcy of the airline industry.

There are two simple solutions to this TSA mess. First and most importantly, hand airline security over to the private sector. Let airlines manage their own security, with their own private security forces. Get government out of the way. Government isn’t the solution, they are the problem.

We must put Delta, American, U.S. Air, Southwest and all the other airlines in charge of their own security — just like all other private sector companies. That puts incompetent bumbling order-takers, creeps and perverts, some of whom could be TSA agents, on the sidelines. By the way, I'm sure most TSA agents are good people. They are being placed in a bad position by government. They are forced to follow idiotic rules, or lose their jobs in the middle of a depression. If the truth be told, I actually feel sorry for many of these people placed in such a no-win situation.

Putting airline security in the hands of the airlines themselves, also ensures the usual private sector positive results. American business usually gets it right. Businesses will weigh the right amount of security versus customer privacy, civil rights, and satisfaction. And if they fail we as consumers can simply stop using that airline and choose another. The ones who get it right will succeed. The ones who don’t will fail. That’s called the power of free markets. Capitalism works. Perhaps the U.S. government should allow for it sometime.

Privatizing airline security will automatically save taxpayers a bundle. After all, who are among the lowest paid employees in the free market? Security guards. In most cases, they are paid minimum wage or slightly higher. But when government gets involved, we take a job that any robotic order-taker could do, give them a badge and put a fancy TSA patch on their shoulders, and hand them bloated union wages, obscene pensions, and health care for life.

All of these TSA agents are costing America billions of dollars we cannot afford. Are you aware the U.S. Postal Service is bankrupt? And that reduced service and incompetence by this government agency still loses $8 billion per year? Or that we have TRILLIONS in unfunded liabilities for U.S. Postal Service pensions and healthcare liabilities? Well it didn’t start out this way. Once upon a time, postal employees were young. Today postal service retirees are helping to bankrupt America. TSA will become another government employee nightmare 20 years down the road. It will lead to an unstoppable “too big to fail” bureaucracy and the fleecing of American taxpayers with more unaffordable pension obligations. We must end it now, before it becomes another bureaucracy too big to kill. Turn it all over to the private sector.

The simple Part Two of this solution is to end political correctness — private airlines can best prevent terrorism by adopting the Israeli model of PROFILING. No, not racial profiling, but rather “terrorist threat profiling.” No need to argue — it works to perfection. Israel has the safest airports and the safest airline (El Al) in the world. There has NEVER been a successful terrorist attack at an Israeli airport or airline. Why? Because their security experts rely on profiling, not political correctness. They ask a series of rapid-fire questions of all passengers. There is no time to lie. If you try to lie, it is easy to detect inconsistencies in your story. At that point you are pulled aside for a more detailed screening or body search. But everyone does not need to endure the health threat of major radiation, or the privacy violation of intrusive cavity searches. It is time to leave grandma and my baby daughter alone, and look for real terrorists.

America must place airline security in the hands of the private sector and adopt the Israeli profiling system. This is a simple two-step solution that ends this national nightmare immediately. Result? No more trauma for children and grandma; no more violation of privacy and civil liberties for average law-abiding Americans; and no more successful terrorist attacks. This is a powerful one-two national security punch. But hey, I’m just a little ‘ole, common-sense, small businessman. Why listen to me? Let’s keep listening to government. You know- those guys who bankrupted a $100 million brothel in Nevada and ran gambling (OTB) into bankruptcy in New York. Ronald Reagan once reminded us of the nine worst words in the English language: “I’m from the government and I’m here to help.” I’m beginning to think the new mantra might be, “the three worst letters in the English language: T.S.A.”

Wayne Allyn Root, is the author of the new paperback, "The Conscience of a Libertarian: Empowering the Citizen Revolution with God, Guns, Gold, and Tax Cuts.” He is a Las Vegas small businessman, homeschool dad, and citizen politician turned Vice Presidential nominee. Root is available to the media to provide political analysis, discussion and debate. His website is: